I need to clear my head (read at your own risk)

I'm terrified of the dark. I know it's silly and a childish thing, but I'm scared there will be monsters there to kill me. They can be aliens, "monsters in the closet", or even people.

Have you heard of Jeff the Killer? It's a creepypasta and it's scary as hell. I looked at the picture and read the story yesterday at my friend Rose's developement pool. We were traumatized.

But I had the worst effect. I actually looked at the picture. Well. . .the smile. But the picture itself is burned into my memory, along with the story. I decided to clear my head here; maybe this will help me sleep tonight. With the lights off, that is.

I'm such a paranoid baby; I know. But these things terrify me- and now my fear of the dark is taken to a whole new level.
I feel like if the lights aren't on and if I can't see into easily-hideable places, I will be killed. I will be murdered and I'll never be safe.

So last night I didn't sleep, and I kept my TV and lights on the entire night. I'm going to do this again tonight, on account of the fact that I'm still scared as hell.

No, I'm scared worse than hell.

My paranoia is now enhanced tenfold, and this isn't good. I can't take it- I want to break. But I can't handle anymore counseling. . .or worse, going to a mental hospital. I can't swallow pills, either, you see. I'm scared that they'll never go down, or that they won't work so I'll have to take more and more and then I'll die. (I've tried to O.D. before.)

I'm scared and alone and I know that no one ever reads these or even cares about the drama that goes on in my life, but I know that if I don't write this down somewhere it will forever be burned and etched into my memory like wood set on fire.

I can't stand it; I hate it and I'm scared oh so scared.

Please help me, I don't want to be alone in the dark with these fears forever. . .